Bad boys are so yesterday. The latest dating trend sweeping the female midlife mogul set of Hollywood? Steady Eddies and Low-Key Larrys.
Take Katy Perry. Her relationship history is all scarves, poetry and ego, in the form of superstars like Russell Brand, John Mayer and Orlando Bloom, the father of her daughter, Daisy, 5. So her new romance with former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau raised plenty of eyebrows.
After a tough time personally and professionally — backlash to her flight with Blue Origin and a lackluster Vegas residency left her feeling like what she calls a “human piñata” — the pop star, 41, seems to have opted for a more sensible choice. Sure, a legacy politician isn’t exactly Joe Six-Pack, but Trudeau, 53, who’s divorced with three kids of his own, is the kind of man you can contemplate splitting the school run with and rely on to sort the recycling properly — even if he does mansplain carbon policy on the way.
Jennifer Aniston appears to be on the same track. After high-profile marriages to fellow actors Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux, Aniston, 56, is in what looks like her most stable coupling in years, with life coach and hypnotherapist Jim Curtis. “It feels like a healthy, grown-up relationship,” an insider told Us in July.
Think of it as the Gwyneth Paltrow model: She was married to Chris Martin, and previously dated Ben Affleck and Pitt. But since 2014, she’s been with writer-director Brad Falchuk (they wed in 2018). It’s not that Falchuk is unglamorous, exactly — he’s a writer and director who frequently collaborates with Ryan Murphy — he’s just a bit more behind- the-scenes than Paltrow’s ex-husband Martin, who is the literal frontman of one of the most popular bands on earth.
As they head into middle age, more of Hollywood’s stars seem to be choosing men who let them have the entire spotlight and don’t create headlines of their own. Women like Reese Witherspoon, 49, whose boyfriend, Oliver Haarmann, 57, is a private equity financier, and Jennifer Garner, 53, who met her longtime love, businessman John Miller, 47, in 2018, a few months after finalizing her divorce from Affleck. (Yes, some of these guys cross over!) “John and Jen are in similar places in their lives, and can relate to raising kids after a divorce,” a source told Us in 2019. “They’re on the same page.”
While most single women in midlife probably don’t stumble across former heads of state and C-suite execs on Bumble, they too might find themselves being unexpectedly drawn to accountants and teachers; men with more “regular” jobs that signal steadiness over scandal. Plus, a single woman’s 40s and 50s are a fun time to experiment with a new type (ideally from a yacht).
Katarina Polonska, a high-performance relationship coach specializing in high achievers, says it’s a pattern she’s seen many times. “Later in life, we’ve often been burned by love and experienced heartache,” she tells Us. “All the things we desired in our 20s and early 30s — passion, chemistry — we realize are temporary. They fade. Chasing these things doesn’t really make sense later in life,” she explains. “Instead, we’re seeking something more long-term, solid, stable. That typically means going for people who give us security and certainty. Think less fireworks and chemistry, more slow burn and alchemy.”
These midlife romances feel calm, equal and decidedly adult; more about matching fitness trackers than matching tattoos. Says Polonska, “The beauty of this type of connection is that we can enjoy it for much longer — think how fast a firework goes out! — and lean into a steadier pace. It brings far more rewards in the long run.”
