Catalina Mancera, the pregnant girlfriend of late Dallas Cowboys player Marshawn Kneeland, candidly admitted she has been struggling in her first Instagram post since the NFL star’s sudden death.
“I’ve been holding off doing this bc I don’t want to accept this as my new reality,” Mancera wrote alongside a carousel of photos and videos on Monday, November 24. “I still have a glimpse of hope Marshawn will walk through our front door singing and dancing to the music he was listening to in the car. This isn’t my life anymore, I’m now living my worst nightmare. Marshawn was more than just my boyfriend he was my best friend my muse and my reason.”
Kneeland died of an apparent suicide on November 6. He was 24 years old.
Mancera, who had been dating Kneeland since his time as a football star at Western Michigan University, said her days now feel “empty.”
“I feel like I’ve sunken deeper into a dark hole,” Mancera continued. “My sweet boy is really gone. The things that I would do just to hold you one more time and tell you how much you mean to me. But now I have you to watch over me and wait for me on the other side. I will see you again. Thank you for choosing me and allowing me to love you. I will forever be grateful of the time we did get to spend together.”
Mancera concluded, “Your laugh will always be imprinted in my mind. I will carry your legacy as long as I’m still here. I don’t know what life has in store for me but you will be a part of my every step. You will never be forgotten. I’ll love you forever my sweet angel 🤍.”
Shortly after Kneeland’s death, the Cowboys announced the creation of the Marshawn Kneeland Memorial Fund, which will help support Mancera and her baby.
Mancera was in attendance when the Cowboys returned to their home at AT&T Stadium for the first time since Kneeland’s death, a 24-21 comeback win over the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, November 23.
The Cowboys played their first game since Kneeland’s death at Las Vegas’ Allegiant Stadium on Monday, November 17, a 33-16 win that head coach Brian Schottenheimer said came with some heavy hearts.
“They wanted to honor him, and we’re not done honoring him,” Schottenheimer, 52, told reporters after the game. “He’s a part of our family forever. But it’s been tough, man. I mean, these past 11 days have been really tough. I’m proud of those guys because just the way they played today, they played with Marshawn’s play style.”
Dallas players and coaches wore T-shirts to honor Kneeland before the game and will wear helmet decals of his No. 94 for the remainder of the season.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some tears when I first put the shirt on, as you can imagine,” Schottenheimer said. “But more than anything, I know Marshawn was looking down on us, and we wanted to make him proud, and I think we did that.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
