Love Is Blind season 9 star Madison Maidenberg revealed how she was affected by fiancé Joe Ferrucci’s comments about her body.
“Joe and I had a conversation off camera where we were just talking in general about dating and our types,” Madison, 28, revealed on the Thursday, October 9, episode of “The Viall Files” podcast. “He did mention to me that he usually dates — he said it to me as ‘more petite women.’ You know, when we date, typically our partners are attracted to us and we’re attracted to our partners.”
Madison explained that she “internalized” many of Joe’s comments. (When the latest batch of season 9 episodes were released Wednesday, October 8, Joe, 29, raised eyebrows with snide digs about his fiancée’s physical appearance.)
“I don’t know what his intention was. I think it was kind of an inside thought that was said out loud, but his words did really carry weight,” Madison told podcast host Nick Viall. “Honestly, from that comment, I kind of developed an eating disorder moving forward.”
She continued, “I’m healthy now, but it was something that I had never experienced before. I’ve always been very self-assured, very confident in my body. I think there’s insecurities like everybody, but with this experiment already being so emotionally heightened, [hearing his comments] really threw me into an insecure space.”
For Madison, rewatching her Love Is Blind season — which was filmed nearly two years ago — has been “disheartening” all over again.
“It was really hurtful,” she said. “Again, [it was] inside thoughts being said out loud that didn’t need to be said, and it made me really sad that instead of this being about our connection, it became about my appearance. It opened the door for the rest of the world to comment further than they already will [because of] what comes with scrutiny of being on a show like this.”
Madison was also surprised to hear Joe’s unbridled honesty because she “didn’t fall in love with a monster” before getting engaged on the show.
“In the pods, he was so adamant about choosing me. He was so gung-ho [and] so committed,” Madison recalled. “I mean, literally, I was the one being like, ‘No, I think you should still see your other connections because I’m still seeing my other connections.’ I literally went to proposal day [still talking to] somebody else because I wanted to be sure that he was [the right] person.”
Madison further revealed that she and Joe had a “really deep connection” during the pod experiment.
“There were times I did feel a grounding energy,” Madison said. “He really was, in general, very reassuring. I would be kind of on eggshells, but then I would feel reassured. I think in the pods, he was so consistent … and that was something that I was really looking for is somebody to ground me ‘cause I can be an emotional person. I feel everything.”
While it’s not yet known whether Madison and Joe make it down the aisle, the UX designer has since learned how to manage her disordered eating habits and have “a much better sense of self.”
“I learned a better way to lean into me and not allow other people’s words to influence me or debit me from my character,” Madison said. “I really just learned to love myself. I found love in the pods in more ways than I could have expected, and one of [them] being falling in love with myself again.”
Love Is Blind is currently streaming on Netflix. New episodes drop weekly.
If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, visit the National Alliance for Eating Disorders website or call their hotline at +1 (866) 662-1235. Text “ALLIANCE” to 741741 for free, 24/7 support.
