Whether you’re Team Elphaba or Team Glinda, there’s no doubt about it: Wicked has captured the hearts of millions. If you haven’t seen the Broadway show or movies, the story flips the script on the “good girl vs. bad girl” trope. It’s a story about a woman who is misunderstood because she is different, and the world tells her to shrink, hide and fit in.
Sound familiar?
Elphaba’s journey mirrors what so many of us experience in our careers and personal lives. We contort ourselves to meet expectations. We hide the parts of ourselves that don’t fit neatly into boxes. We show up as who we think others want us to be, rather than who we actually are.
And in doing so, we limit who we can become.
Barb Betts, a leadership and relationship expert, and the author of The Relationship Advantage, teaches that authenticity is about undoing everything that isn’t you. “You weren’t born afraid to be seen,” she says. Yet somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being different meant being wrong.
“When we edit our personalities in meetings. We soften our opinions to avoid conflict. We present a polished version of ourselves that feels acceptable but inauthentic. And while this strategy might protect us from judgment in the short term, it prevents us from building genuine connections and reaching our full potential,” Betts says.
Betts frames authenticity not as a personality trait but as a practice: “When you hide who you are, you limit who you can become.”
Think about the relationships you value most. Chances are, they’re with people who show up authentically — people who don’t pretend to be perfect, who share their struggles, who let you see them as they really are.
The same principle applies to leadership. The most effective leaders aren’t the ones who have it all together. They’re the ones who are real. They’re the ones who build trust by being human, by admitting when they don’t have the answers, by showing vulnerability alongside strength.
So what does this mean for you?
It means examining where you’re shrinking to fit in. Where are you editing yourself to be more palatable? What parts of your personality, your perspective or your experience are you keeping hidden because you’re afraid of how others will react?
Betts challenges us to ask: What would change if you stopped hiding?
“The truth is, the parts of yourself you’re trying to hide are often the very things that make you valuable. Your different perspective. Your unique background. Your unconventional approach. These aren’t liabilities — they’re assets.”
Betts teaches that the relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for every other relationship in your life. If you don’t know who you are, if you’re constantly performing, hiding and conforming, how can anyone else truly know you? And if no one truly knows you, how can they trust you, follow you or connect with you in meaningful ways?
