It’s graduation season, which means big transitions for students leaving home for college or the working world, as well as for parents becoming empty nesters.
Celebrities from Brooke Shields and Katie Holmes and Gwyneth Paltrow to Guy Fieri and Terry Crews have spoken publicly about the difficulty of becoming empty nesters in recent years, even as their children thrive heading out into the world on their own.
Sindy Warren, a law school graduate and founder of Blue Tree Coaching, helps clients navigate major life transitions using legal precision, mindset work, and neuroscience-informed strategies, and has advice for parents who may be struggling to let go as their children leave home.
“The key is for parents to start envisioning their own next chapter,” Warren said. “This transition is an opportunity to shift the focus inward — toward career goals, creative pursuits, relationships, or personal growth. The sooner parents begin planning for life beyond daily parenting, the more fulfilling this season can be. Letting go of a child doesn’t mean losing your purpose — it means redefining it.”
Shields, 59, has famously broken down in tears on social media over her daughters, Rowan, 22, and Grier, 19, leaving home, but she says it’s becoming easier.
“The thought of no longer living 24/7 in the house with these people that I’ve raised, it’s just very foreign. It’s like going to a totally foreign territory,” Shields told People in 2024 as Grier left home. But by Christmas, she was a pro empty nester.
“They came home for Christmas,” Shields said during an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” in January this year. “It was great — and then I couldn’t wait for them to leave.”
Clinical psychologist Dr. Bonnie Zucker, co-host of the podcast “Anxiety Matters with Dr. Bonnie Zucker and Dr. Bonnie Zucker,” also advises parents to avoid calling their kids when they feel sad about them being away.
“It is crucial to tell yourself that it’s normal to feel sad, anxious, or lonely and that these feelings will not last forever,” Zucker said. “Be mindful of how much you reach out to your child at college. You might want to reach out to them when you feel sad or anxious about them being away. However, if you are contacting them to cope with your own difficult emotions, it can 1) get in your child’s way of becoming more independent and 2) give yourself the message that you can’t cope with your uncomfortable feelings.”
Zucker says the empty nest phase is “an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, friends, family, and your interests.”
Crews, a father of five, noted how quiet his house became after all his kids flew the coop.
It’s too damn quiet,” the “America’s Got Talent” host joked during an appearance on CBS’ “The Talk” last year. “I’m used to things breaking, people fighting… I wake up and it’s quiet. I go down and I’m like, ‘No one’s here… I’m all by myself, like man, what am I doing now?'”
Holmes, meanwhile, is choosing to focus on being excited for daughter Suri Cruise as she embarks on her first year of college. “Of course, I will miss the close proximity, but I’m really proud of her and I’m happy,” Holmes told Town & Country.
“I remember being this age, this time of beginnings,” she said. “It’s exciting to learn about yourself, and I loved that time, so it makes me happy to think about it like that.”
According to Warren, that’s not just a great attitude for the parent’s own well-being, but for their children’s as well.
“One of the most powerful things a parent can do is show their child that they believe in them,” Warren said. “When parents express trust in their child’s ability to navigate challenges, that belief becomes contagious. It helps the child develop their own self-confidence — and that growing sense of self-efficacy is far more valuable than any practical advice.”
Warren also has advice for graduates to prepare for the transition into a new phase of life.
“Graduates can prepare by recognizing that major life transitions are supposed to feel uncomfortable,” she said. “Whether you’re leaving home for the first time or stepping into your first job, feeling uncertain or unsettled is completely normal. Nothing’s gone wrong. The most important skill to develop during these moments is learning to sit with the discomfort of change — it’s something that will serve them for the rest of their lives.”
Zucker agrees, saying students should remember they’re not the only ones feeling scared or overwhelmed being away from home for the first time.
“If you are having any difficulties with the transition, consider contacting the counseling center for support. If you are having problems in any of your classes, go to office hours or reach out to your professor. The students who get into trouble academically tend to be the ones who go MIA from their classes — they stop going and stop turning in assignments,” Zucker said.
“It can take time to adjust to being away from home for the first time. Challenge yourself not to reach out to your parents at the first moment of feeling uncomfortable, which will give you confidence in your abilities to cope with difficult emotions,” she said.
