The Bringing Up Bates family has long followed a courtship process before marriage.
Gil and Kelly Jo Bates are parents of 19 children: Zach, Michaela, Erin, Lawson, Nathan, Alyssa, Tori, Trace, Carlin, Josie, Katie, Jackson, Warden, Isaiah, Addallee, Ellie, Callie, Jud and Jeb.
Gil and Kelly Jo’s expansive brood soon became the subjects of 2012’s United Bates of America. Three years later, the Bates family returned to TV on UpTV’s Bringing Up Bates, which ran for 10 seasons before its 2022 cancellation.
As chronicled on their family’s shows, Gil and Kelly Jo’s eldest children courted their eventual spouses instead of following modern-day dating practices.
“Courtship is basically getting to know someone with the intent of marriage,” Michaela said on a July 2015 episode of Bringing Up Bates. “It’s taking out the step of dating around for fun that can get you into trouble.”
The Bates’ courtships came with rules, including no kissing and bringing chaperones on dates to avoid physical temptation.
Keep scrolling to find out more about the Bates family’s courtship beginnings:
Gil and Kelly Jo Bates
Gil and Kelly Jo Bates met in a college chemistry class at South Carolina’s Anderson College when they were 22 and 21, respectively. They wed just one semester before graduation.
“He was very ministry-minded [and] he was involved in every opportunity in college to be involved in ministry, and so, I was attracted to that,” Kelly Jo said on the show. “I wanted to marry someone that loved the Lord and that wanted to serve him.”
Gil and Kelly Jo went on to welcome 19 children together.
Zach and Whitney Bates
Zach Bates began courting Whitney Bates in 2013, getting married less than one year later. They are parents of Bradley, Kaci, Khloé, Jadon and Lily Jo, and are expecting baby No. 6 in 2026.
Michaela Bates and Brandon Keilen
Michael “Michaela” Bates and Brandon Keilen entered into a courtship in 2013, two years before getting engaged. They wed months later in 2015 and became foster parents of two boys in 2025.
Erin Bates and Chad Paine
Erin Bates started courting Chad Paine in 2012, one year before they got engaged. The pair wed in 2013. Erin and Paine are parents of seven: Charles, Brooklyn, Everly, Holland, Finley, William and Henry. After Erin gave birth to Henry in 2025, she went into septic shock and was hospitalized for several months. Erin eventually made a full recovery.
Lawson Bates and Tiffany Espensen
Lawson Bates started seeing former child actress Tiffany Espensen in 2020, proposing the next year in 2021. Lawson and Espensen tied the knot in 2022. They welcomed sons William and Theodore in 2024 and 2025, respectively.
Nathan and Esther Bates
Nathan Bates pursued Esther Bates in 2020, getting married in 2021 after a seven-month courtship. Esther gave birth to daughter Kenna in 2022 and son Graham in 2024.
Alyssa Bates and John Webster
Alyssa Bates started courting John Webster in 2013, one year before they wed in 2014. They share five children: Allie, Lexi, Zoey, Maci and Rhett.
Tori Bates and Bobby Smith
Bobby Smith asked to court Tori Bates in 2016, one year before he popped the question. They wed later in 2017 before welcoming kids Robert, Kolter, Weston, Charlotte, Cambree and Gage.
Trace and Lydia Bates
Trace Bates started courting Lydia Bates in 2021, one year before they got married in 2022. They welcomed children Ryker and Kaia in 2023 and 2025, respectively.
Carlin Bates and Evan Stewart
Carlin Bates and Evan Stewart began courting in 2016 and exchanged vows in 2019. They are parents of three: Layla, Zade and Navy.
Josie Bates and Kelton Balka
Josie Bates entered into a courtship with Kelton Balka in 2017, one year before they wed in 2018. They are parents of Willow, Hazel, Miles and Brooks.
Katie Bates and Travis Clark
Luxury Handbag Shopping broke the news in 2020 that Katie Bates started courting Travis Clark after meeting through mutual friends the year prior. Clark proposed to Katie in 2021, and they tied the knot several months later.
Katie gave birth to daughter Hailey and son Harvey in 2023 and 2024 before suffering a pregnancy loss in early 2026. Hours after Katie announced her miscarriage, Clark publicly admitted that he had been unfaithful.
Jackson and Emerson Bates
Jackson Bates asked to court wife Emerson Bates on her 19th birthday in 2022. They wed the next year in 2023.
Warden Bates and Kaybrie Patterson
Warden Bates confirmed his courtship with girlfriend Kaybrie Patterson in March 2026.
“You + me + Charleston,” Patterson wrote via Instagram, sharing pics of the couple holding hands.
Several of Warden’s siblings including Josie, Carlin and Zach responded with heart emojis in the comments section.
